I was a relatively early adopter of social media—Facebook (2007), Twitter, (2009), and Instagram (2011). I wanted to be a proficient user before my children. I was, but that wasn’t sufficient. It turns out the young men and middle-aged men are not the same—particularly, when the old guy grew up in an analog world and developed analog virtues that are foreign to digital natives. I’ve been able to help my boys and other young people understand and mitigate some risks and endure a lot of disappointments of online life. But I’ve come to the conclusion that I can do that without further participation in two platforms. So, I’m letting my friends/acquaintances know that I’ll be deleting Facebook and Instagram this month, though I’ll continue on Twitter for now.

One factor has to do with my use of the platforms themselves. Since Twitter still allows a feed that is not algorithmically generated and I can easily control what I see there (I get notifications only from those whom I follow, and I can block and mute easily), I am able to use that platform as a news aggregator. (I’ve never really considered leaving Twitter, because I don’t use it in a way that amplifies its downsides). The algorithmically-governed Facebook and Instagram, by contrast, make it more difficult for me to see the range of things I want to see on those platforms.

The greater issue, though, is these digital environments themselves. In short, they are too context deficient to serve friendship. (This is not really a problem for my news-focused use of Twitter). Facebook and Instagram give us many impressions of our friends and acquaintances, but these impressions cannot replace a hug, or a smile, or a conversation over a meal. And often, without the context of time together, the impressions we get are skewed or simply false. So, I’m leaving Facebook and Instagram, in the end, because I don’t want just to know about my friends. I want to know my friends in truth. And the former is getting in the way of the latter.

I’m still figuring out what I might do instead. Some people I respect have their own websites, blogs, micro-blogs, etc. I have a website that I’ve started posting bits from reading to—the sort of thing I’ve used Facebook for the most over the last few years. I might add a micro-blog to post pictures. I’ve never been the best blogger, but I’m hoping to write more both formally and informally in the years to come. We’ll see how that goes. In any case, I trust that my friends know how and where to find me in real life. In the meantime, happy trails.

P.S. If you want more context for all this, I began seriously thinking about taking this step over the course of research for some lectures I gave on digitally mediated relationships a little over a year ago. See those here: https://resources.covenantseminary.edu/programs/the-changing-self-and-the-challenge-of-ministry